


now it's time to learn

by dizzy



Series: we're all fucking fine 2020 advent fics [13]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28184727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: Dan and Phil meet at York in 2008.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: we're all fucking fine 2020 advent fics [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035990
Comments: 33
Kudos: 128





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: _phan getting together university au (with some smut)_
> 
> (I am taking and all creative license with York, how society gatherings work, names of things in town, etc. I'm writing a fic a day I don't have time for too much research please don't @ me.)

Dan's entire teenage years up to this point have been marked with the burning desire for independence. He's always held tight and fast to the idea that once he was out on his own, things would be better. He could be his own person. He could define himself, shrugging off the boxes other people tried to put him in. 

University was supposed to be the magic key. But instead of opening a door to a whole new work, he finds himself slinking around corners afraid of what's going to appear. Everything is terrifying; going to classes. Meeting people in his halls. Shopping for food by himself. Staring at the numbers in his bank account. 

Maybe he should have taken a gap year to work and save money. He'd considered it for so long, and his parents even supported it. His mum thought he could use it for work experience. His dad didn't say much of anything, but that's par for the course. He hadn't been able to stomach the idea of staying at home another year, though. So he'd packed up a few boxes of stuff and endured the quiet ride to the place he's supposed to call home now. 

-

Dan ends up spending his entire first week at York playing video games in his room. His hall mates invite him to a couple of gatherings but he drinks too much at the very first one and ends up sicking in the toilets and then crying in his bed alone. 

He could probably keep the hermit like behavior up but in the back of his mind there's still some spark of hope that he can turn a new leaf, so when he sees the advert for the LBGTQ Society's introductory gathering, he snaps a picture of it with his phone then rushes down the hall wondering if anyone noticed him doing it. 

-

Dan regrets showing up the moment he walks in the door. 

The music that's playing is lame and there are people gathered around tables talking in groups, even though he showed up only five minutes after the time listed on the flier. 

(Ten minutes early, actually, but then he'd spent fifteen minutes wondering if he should just go get a pizza and some rum and take it back to his room.) 

All of these people clearly already know each other. The fliers were probably just formalities. They don't actually need new faces showing up. They're happy with the group they've got. Dan's just as out of place here as he is everywhere else in this whole fucking world. 

His heart is racing and feels queasy. He turns to walk out of the room when he hears a voice saying, "Oh, hi!" 

His heart crawls up into his throat. He turns around, but doesn't respond, just in case the person isn't actually talking to Dan. 

But he is, apparently. He tilts his head and says, "Hi?" again in a questioning voice. 

"Hi," Dan says. 

"Are you new here?" 

"I am." Dan's hands are jammed in the pockets of his jeans. The person talking to him has shaggy black hair and he's almost as tall as Dan is. "That obvious?" 

"Well, a bit," the guy says. "I'm Phil. And don't worry, we don't bite. I mean, most of us don't." 

"Don't let Phil lie to you." A girl at least a foot shorter than both of them jumps onto Phil's back. He staggers, caught by surprise, and then straightens himself. "He's the one who bites. The rest of us are well cool. I'm Ellie." 

"Hi, Ellie," Dan says. 

"Do you like games?" she asks. "Phil's always on us to play some games, so we're going to start one in a few minutes." 

"What game?" Dan asks. 

Phil shrugs. "Whatever people want to play. Probably Cluedo, since we've got that one. Most of it, at least. We had to substitute in some of the little figurines after they got lost. Come on," Phil urges, smiling at Dan. "I'll let you pick if you want the pencil rubber shaped like a hippo or the Guiltiness bottle top." 

"Ooh, he really is rolling out the red carpet for you, mate," Ellie says. She hops down off of Phil and lands easily on her feet. "He usually calls dibs on the hippo rubber before anyone else can." 

-

Dan finds himself drinking a beer that tastes a bit awful while sitting on a very well-worn sofa. He's beside Ellie and another girl whose name he can't remember, while Phil is cross-legged on the floor across from them. 

The game is fun. It's more fun than he'd thought it would be. Certainly more fun than hanging out with people in his halls was. He doesn't have more than a few beers and he actually wins one of the games and it feels reminiscent of the times he actually remembers fondly from school. 

It starts to wind down around midnight and he's actually sad for it. He tips up his bottle to finish off the last of the beer, and he's just tipsy enough that it doesn't even taste that bad anymore. 

He's not aware he's being followed to the door until Phil says,"We're doing a movie night next week. If you want to come join." 

Dan's heart speeds up before he forces it back to a calmer rate. Phil's just inviting him back to the society meeting. Phil's just a friendly sort of guy. "Um, maybe. Yeah. I'll have to see if I'm free." 

He's not sure where that blatant lie rises up from. Of course he's free. He's always free. He's even free some of the time when he's meant to be attending study groups or classes, because his track record of attending things is... not great. 

"Okay, well." Phil smiles at Dan and Dan smiles back and for a second he lingers there, thinking maybe Phil might say something else. "Hopefully I'll see you then." 

"Yeah. Maybe." Dan smiles and does a little two fingered salute that he immediately regrets and walks away. 

-

It's three days later before he realizes that he's still thinking about Phil, and exactly what level of fucked that means he probably is. 

-

It's a problem he's always had, and specifically with guys. 

With girls... he can look at them and tell they're interested, and sometimes he can even fancy them back. But it's sort of - it's a known thing, isn't it? Sometimes boys fancy girls and sometimes girls fancy boys and that's alright. 

But Dan figures it must be something about how fancying other boys just feels not allowed that makes him fall for them so quickly. Literally all it takes sometimes is a friendly smile or someone singling him out for conversation. 

The fact that Phil looks like the classic epitome of Dan's type in guys just seals it. 

-

He really needs to stop skipping class. 

He's not even sure why he didn't go in today. He actually got up on time. He got dressed in clothes that are more or less clean. He brushed his teeth and washed his face and put on deodorant and straightened his hair. He put the books and notebooks and his laptop in his shoulder bag. 

But he stood in front of the building and then he just... didn't go in. 

He doesn't want to go back to halls either, though. Uni halls mid-morning when everyone else is actually off doing responsible student things is basically the only place more depressing than the inside of the actual classroom. 

He heads to the caf. They might still be serving breakfast, and he could do with a decent meal while he contemplates if he'll actually make it to his afternoon class in three hours. 

Once he's there he sits alone. He's come a few times with people in the neighboring rooms and it's not that he hates it, or them. He just feels weird and out of place listening to them talk about parties and women and things Dan can certainly bullshit about but that also feel like exactly the sort of thing he wanted to get away from at uni. 

It makes him feel like that person he doesn't want to be. So he's almost happy to be here alone now, poking at a lukewarm sausage roll and some slightly rubbery scrambled eggs. 

"Mind if I join you?" a voice asks. 

Dan's head jerks up. His hand jerks too, unfortunately, and the bit of egg he'd speared goes flying and lands at someone's feet. Luckily the person he almost egged has his back to them. 

"Oh my god." Phil's eyes are huge. 

"Shut up," Dan says. "You didn't see that." 

"I didn't see anything!" Phil's eyes are scrunched at the corners. 

"Sit down, and stop laughing at me," Dan orders. 

Phil sits down. "Do you mind, really? Were you waiting on someone?" 

"I wasn't," Dan says. "And I don't mind the company. I need someone to shout at me for not going to my lecture." 

Phil frowns. "Why didn't you go?" 

"Couldn't be bothered." Dan pokes at the eggs again, this time managing not to assault anyone with them. 

"Oh." Phil's still frowning. 

The blatant concern feels overwhelming to Dan, so he tries to make a joke out of it. "I mean, this professor always puts me right to sleep, and I didn't really need a morning nap..." 

"Is the class bad?" Phil asks. "Or is it just... first year uni things?" 

"First year uni things?" 

"I mean, I did it myself," Phil says. "Overindulged. There were way too many times I didn't make it to class my first year because I was just too hungover." 

"Oh," Dan says. "I mean, that would be a better reason. That would at least mean I had fun last night. But no, unfortunately, this is just me being an absolute loser." 

"You're not a loser," Phil says. "It's hard when you're just not interested in the topic. Especially if the professor is boring." 

Dan doesn't bother saying that he doesn't find any of his classes interesting. As much as he likes someone giving a shit, it really does feel like too much. His brain can't handle it. He's too used to lying to people who matter and being too honest with strangers, who generally don't give a fuck. 

Phil seems like the sort who just always gives a fuck, though. Dan tries to remind his traitorously beating heart that Phil being a nice person doesn't make Dan special in any way. 

He doesn't even really know if Phil is gay. The society is all inclusive. Phil could just be an ally. 

"Yeah," Dan says, realizing that he hasn't responded out loud since the last time Phil said something to him. "What about you?" 

"I've only got one class today," Phil says. "And it's in the production bay." 

"Production bay?" Dan asks. "That sounds cool, what are you studying?" 

"Editing and post-production," Phil says. His face lights up as he says it. Dan wonders what it must feel like to be excited by what you're learning. "It's actually my masters. I finished my first degree in English Language and Linguistics last year." 

"Oh, wow. So you're..." In his mind, Dan is doing the math. Phil must be at least twenty one, maybe even twenty two. 

"A glutton for punishment?" Phil grins. "I actually really like these courses, though. Loads better than my first degree. I wish I'd been studying this from the start." 

Dan takes a bite of his sausage roll because he isn't really sure how to respond to that. He's at the start of his whole university journey, and he could switch now, but he can't, really. Not after his parents and his grandma and everyone else is operating under this belief and pride that he's going to be some grand lawyer. 

He can't disappoint them in this like he does in every other way. 

"Tell me more about it," Dan says, when he's finished his bite. "It sounds really cool." 

Phil launches into stories about films he's forced his housemates to star in and what sort of special editing effects he can do and even a Buffy music video he's put together and he's really proud of. Dan gets drawn into his enthusiasm and doesn't even mind when Phil spends ten minutes just talking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer after Dan says he's never really seen it. 

"Anyway, I'm obsessed with Buffy, that's all," he says as he finishes. It's not an apology, just an acknowledgement. 

"I mean, that's cool," Dan says. He is trying not to think too hard about the fact that while he hasn't seen the show he does know the main character is blonde and pretty and very female. 

"Thanks for letting me have breakfast with you, Dan," Phil says, smiling at him. His plate is completely emptied and Dan realizes with a pang that the meal is over. "I really hope I see you Friday night." 

"Yeah," Dan says. He still has food on his plate but the butterflies have overtaken any semblance of hunger in his stomach. "I think I'll be there." 

-

Dan gets to the movie night five minutes late, but this time it's because he took a mid afternoon nap and almost overslept. 

He has no idea how a movie night like this will go. He's surprised to find that it's a projector screen pulled down and a bunch of chairs gathered in the middle. All the sofas that had been strewn around the room are lining the outside of the chairs in a semicircle. 

"Dan!" Phil shouts. "There you are!" 

He has a beer in his hand already and his eyes are bright. Dan has the distinct sense that he's been pre-gaming. 

"Oooh, tall one!" Ellie appears beside Phil. 

"I thought I was tall one!" Phil asks, offended. 

"Well, you were. Now you're slightly less tall one. Grow a few inches and maybe you can win the title back." 

"Come on, now." A man that Dan definitely doesn't recognize drapes his arm over Phil's shoulder. "We all know Phil only grows a few inches when he sees a vamp get dusted. It's the violence that does it for him. And maybe those CGI special effects." 

Phil turns red and shoves the guy away. "Actually shut up!" He turns to Dan and says, "Ignore him. Raif's an idiot." 

Raif makes loud smooching noises in Phil's direction. "He loves me. Anyway, who are you then?" 

"This is Dan!" Ellie says. "Phil's new friend." 

"All of our new friend," Phil corrects. "He came to the introductory night last week." 

"Oh, right, newbie night." Raif yawns exaggeratedly. "Most of them show up and never come back again." 

"Well," Phil says. "Dan came back." 

He's smiling right at Dan and Dan really needs a drink if he's expected to look at that expression and not fall directly in love with it. 

-

Dan ends up on a sofa with Phil, Ellie, and Raif. 

Raif is on the other side of Ellie and Dan is not unhappy about that. He's too attractive and touched Phil far too much for Dan's liking. 

But Phil had settled into a corner and Dan sat down right next to him and that's how they've been for the past two hours, shoulders and thighs brushing and sharing a bowl of popcorn between them. 

The film that's playing isn't one Dan has seen before and probably not one he'd choose for himself, but it's sort of funny and it has a lesbian couple in it and Dan finds himself enjoying it. There's just something nice about being able to watch something gay without worrying that everyone in the room is thinking he seems a bit too interested. 

He's sad when it's over, and even more sad when Phil gets up.

"Coming to the pub, Phil?" Raif asks. 

"Nah," Phil says. "I'm going to head home." 

"Lameeeeee." Ellie whines. "Dan, tell Phil to come to the pub." 

"Um," Dan says. 

"I'm on the train early to see my parents for the weekend, and I need sleep," Phil says, shaking his head. 

"Well." Raif looks at Dan. "What about you? You coming? We're going to PROUD." 

The movie night had been nice. But the idea of going to a gay club makes Dan feel like he's been shocked with cold water. "I can't," he says. 

Raif doesn't seem to care all that much if Dan goes or not, which makes Dan feel even more awkward, like these people are only having him around because Phil seems to like him. 

Then Ellie grabs his arm and hugs it to her. "We'll have a friend for you, mate." 

Dan is sliding his arms into the jacket he'd abandoned earlier when Phil says, "Hold on. I need to say goodbye to someone then I'll walk out with you." 

He watches Phil cross the room and talk to a small group of people. It doesn't take long before he's back over, not even enough time for Dan to start to freak out. 

They both start to walk away from the building in the same direction, silent at first. 

"I hope you're enjoying the soc stuff," Phil says. "Raif's a tosser, but he's actually right. Most of the time people show up once and don't really come back." 

"I'm actually enjoying it a lot," Dan says. 

"Yay!" Phil actually does a dorky little dance. "Next week is pizza night, and we'll do more games because I always make everyone play games. You can't be the rubber hippo again, though. That was a first time offer only.” 

"Rude," Dan says. Then Dan's mouth does what it sometimes does, and says words that his brain hasn't agreed on yet. "Are you gay?" 

Phil looks at him and grins. "Being part of the gay society didn't give it away?" 

"Well," Dan says. "The soc is more than just gay, isn't it? It's like, bi and lesbian and trans, right?" 

"Oh," Phil says. "I guess you're right. I mean, you are right. But - yeah, actually. I am gay. Are you? If you don't mind me asking?" 

"I just asked you," Dan says. "So I wouldn't really have any right to mind you asking me." 

Phil shrugs. "You still can, though. I mean, you asking me doesn't mean you're also obligated to tell me. I know how weird it can be sometimes. Like, I'm sort of out here at uni, but I'm not at all at home." 

"Oh." Dan isn't sure why that's such a revelation to him. "I don't know what I am. I had a girlfriend for like, three years. But..." 

"But you like guys, too?" Phil finishes. 

Dan nods, then swallows hard. He hates that he feels like he's about to cry. "Yeah, I think I do." 

Phil stops walking. "I'm that way," he says, pointing, but he doesn't move. "It's okay if you don't really know now. No one's going to judge you, and if they do, I can beat them up for you." 

Dan actually laughs. "You literally couldn't, but thank you." 

Phil punches Dan in the arm. It doesn't hurt at all. "Anyway. I'll see you next week?" 

"Yeah," Dan says, fighting a smile. "I'll see you next week."


	2. Chapter 2

The game night is a smaller thing than the introductory night was, but Dan likes it. Phil sits next to him on the sofa again and they play monopoly with Ellie and her girlfriend and a person Dan immediately gets on with named Kinz. Raif isn't there at all and maybe that makes it just a bit better. 

But Phil does have other friends. Dan finds himself alone after their second game, nursing a beer and halfway listening to something Kinz is saying. 

"Mate-" Kinz pokes Dan in the arm. "Did you even hear me?" 

"Oh, sorry." Dan smiles apologetically. "I need to stop pulling all nighters.”

"Don't we all," Kinz says. "Anyway, I was asking where you're from?"

"Wokingham," Dan says, It's a common enough question, everyone's from somewhere different, but he still wishes he could just answer that he was from nowhere and people would accept that. The last thing he wants is to feel like Wokingham is part of the label he carries as a person here. 

"Nice," Kinz says, smiling at Dan. He's got dark eyes and braided hair and he's actually been looking at Dan a lot over the past few hours. "So have you seen much of York yet?" 

"Um." Dan shifts on the sofa a little. "Not really. Just the campus, and the nearest Tesco." 

"You should let me show you around some time," Kinz says. "Fibbers is well cool, you'd love it. We could take the bus out and see a show. Get dinner. Have a bit of fun?"

The last part is said so flirtatiously that Dan is well and truly caught off guard. They've already talked about music some, and how they have the same taste - which is a bit of everything, really - so the club part doesn't surprise him that much, it's just the tone that does. 

"Oh-" Dan says. "I'm-" 

"Oh, shit, mate, have you got a boyfriend or something?" Kinz asks. 

"No," Dan says. "I'm just not sure I'm... I mean. I'm not even really... I'm just... sorting things out in my own head. So I'm not sure it's a good time to add dating to that." 

He's surprised by how even and mature the words are coming out of his mouth, considering inside of his brain there's nothing but shrieking and alarms flashing. 

That's when Phil walks back over. He has a few bottles of beer in his hands and passes them around. It's the cheap stuff, it's always the cheap stuff, but it's free so Dan takes one happily. He definitely needs to drown what just happened in some alcohol. 

What did just happen? 

He got asked out by a fit guy? 

And turned him down? 

Why did he turn him down? 

What he said wasn't wrong, it's just... he glances over and sees Phil and he wonders if he'd have said the same thing if Phil asked him. 

"Thanks," he says, taking the drink from Phil. 

"So what did I miss?" Phil is glassy-eyed like he's definitely on his way to drunk. 

"Me getting rejected by the lovely Daniel here." Kinz says it like there's absolutely nothing to it. 

Dan is completely flustered. It's the last thing he expected Kinz to say. 

"Oh my god, K!" Ellie gapes at him. "You don't know the meaning of a slow move, do you?" 

"Life is short, my dear," Kinz says. "Why waste time?" 

Dan is afraid to look at Phil, but when he does risk a glance Phil is looking down at his beer. He glances up and his eyes meet Dan's briefly before he smiles and says, "Alright, Scrabble!"

-

The evening winds to a close around the same time it had before, shortly after ten pm. He manages to dodge the post-drinking again and checks his texts before looking up then heading outside.

"You didn't want to go out with Kinz?" Phil asks. 

Dan jumps slightly. He hadn't even realized Phil had been waiting at the door for him. "No, I just... I mean, he's nice, but..." 

"Not your type?" Phil presses. 

Dan shrugs. "I guess not." 

"Who is?" Phil asks. "I mean. If you want to tell me. Sorry. I'm a bit drunk." 

Dan laughs. "It's alright. I guess I don't know my type. I haven't had experience like, going on an actual date with a guy. Fuck, I didn't even go on dates with my girlfriend very often. She'd always want to but I just couldn't be bothered. I was a shit boyfriend, did I mention that?"

"I bet you weren't that bad," Phil says. "Hey, are you hungry?" 

"I could eat." 

"Want to get something? We could go to Bison, it's like my favourite place. It's not too much of a walk. Unless you needed to get back? Or you're sleepy?" 

"Mate, I don't even go to sleep until three at least," Dan says. "On a good night." 

Lately most nights aren't good, but he doesn't add that.

"Me either," Phil admits. "I keep trying to actually go to sleep at a reasonable time and it never really works. I'm just the most awake at night!" 

"Yeah, exactly," Dan agrees. 

He follows Phil as they start to walk. "It's down the hill," Phil warns. Dan just now has an idea what that means. "Like fifteen minutes away." 

The walk doesn't even seem like it lasts fifteen minutes. They start talking about Kill Bill and then the Silent Hill games and before Dan knows it he's following Phil into a little cafe. The walls are exposed white brick and there are little tables and chairs dotted around, more than would seem possible to fit inside such a cozy little space. 

He gets falafel and hummus on Phil's recommendation, and they each get a couple of samosas. "The toasties are good too," Phil says. "Or at least, everyone thinks so." 

"You don't like that?" 

Phil shakes his head. "Cheese." 

Dan really has no idea what kind of an explanation that's supposed to be, but he just nods like it makes sense. 

The food is good. It's gone too quickly, but they get coffee after - mochas that are thick with chocolate syrup and taste delicious. Neither of them are feeling the effects of the alcohol anymore, but even if they were, the coffee would chase it away. 

"I'm definitely coming back here," Dan declares. 

"Good." Phil smiles at him. 

He wants to ask Phil if he'll come back with him, and maybe that's the answer to that thing he'd been wondering earlier. Kinz seems like a really nice guy, but he's not Phil. 

-

It's only the next time they run into each other that Phil asks for his number. They're in the caf but only passing by each other, because Dan's just coming from class and Phil's on his way to one. 

"I think we're going to City Screen this weekend instead of getting together on campus," Phil says. "They're having a showing of some lgbt indie films." 

"City Screen?" Dan asks. 

"Yeah, oh, you haven't been!" Phil seems delighted. "Okay, give me your phone, I'll make sure you know when we're going." 

"Okay." Dan's heart is pounding as he watches Phil add himself as a contact into Dan's phone. 

"I texted myself too, so I've got your number." Phil hands the phone back. "Oh, crap, I've really got to go, but - yeah, I'll text you!" 

Dan watches Phil take off at a half jog, then stares down at the phone like it's something brand new. 

-

Phil does text him, less than an hour later. Dan calls him out on still being in class but Phil says it doesn't really matter. He's just in the production bay working on a project, so there's no one around to monitor him. 

Dan can't actually imagine having that much freedom. He also has no idea if he'd be able to self-motivate like Phil does. 

Probably not. He spends the time he has for lunch eating a half-way alright slice of cafeteria pizza and talking to Phil about the movies they'll see this weekend. 

Then they text some more about Silent Hill and wanting to do a play through. 

Then about Muse. 

Before Dan really knows it, it's midnight and he's lying in bed in just his pants staring up at the phone screen he's holding over his face. 

He's not sure he's ever met someone he could talk this easily. Not just normal conversation face to face - Dan's shockingly good at that. He's always been the sort who could charm his girlfriend's parents and his teachers and really anyone in short bursts. But things like this? Literally not wanting to sleep for not wanting the conversation to end? Feeling like the other person is actually just as interested in everything he's saying? This doesn't happen. 

It does feel like Phil is interested, though. 

Probably just in friendship, but... Dan reckons if that's all he can get, it might just be enough to have a friend like Phil. 

-

The skies are cloudy as they get on the purple buses going to City Centre on Saturday afternoon. It's not raining yet but Dan's got a jacket with a hood just in case. 

The spot next to Phil is empty so Dan slides into it. 

"Saved it for you," Phil says, grinning at Dan. 

"Thanks." Dan shoves his phone into his pocket. Without texting Phil all day, his battery will actually last longer. They've basically been having one long conversation for half the week leading up to this. 

"You're going to love City Screen," Phil says. "I'll turn you into a film geek. And they've got the best chips in all of York."

Ellie turns around in her seat. "Of course Phil's going to start telling you about the chips. Mate, do you ever do anything but eat?" 

"Sure I do," Phil says. "I also drink sometimes!" 

Dan snorts. It's not a very sexy sound, but Phil looks proud to have evoked it. 

-

Phil is actually right. He does love the cinema they go to. He also loves that he's out on a weekend doing something he actually finds fun with a group of people that he actually likes. 

It's that little hint of what he thought uni would be. 

Phil helps, too. They sit by each other in the cinema and eat together with a few other people between films and he sees people looking at them - he even sees Kinz looking at them with an expression of understanding that Dan is almost embarrassed by. 

Phil could still just be a friendly guy. Dan won't get his hopes up too much. 

But maybe... just a little. 

-

The sun has set and the ground is damp with fallen rain when they leave the cinema. A lot of the group gets directly on the buses, but a few of them head to the Starbucks next door. 

Dan and Phil are among the stragglers. They get coffees and when Phil leads them away from the other soc members, Dan doesn't point it out. 

"My housemates are having a party tonight," Phil says. "So I'm not in a hurry to get back." 

"Not a party goer?" Dan takes a sip of his caramel coffee drink. 

"Not lately." Phil grimaces. "I sort of thought this guy was asking me out last semester and it turns out he wasn't, he was just being friendly, and then I invited him over to a party a few weeks later and he got with my housemate - female housemate! He's not even gay, by the way - and apparently she invited him tonight too and I just... don't really want to have to deal with it." 

Dan definitely tries to convince himself that his stomach isn't twisting and turning at the idea of Phil liking someone else. "That does sound awkward." 

Maybe his voice gives him away or maybe this is just what Phil was going to say next all along, but he looks at Dan and says, "It's not even that I wanted him to be kissing me instead or anything. I just see him and want to die of mortification because we shared a taxi once and I thought he wanted to date me just because he was friendly." 

It's a lot of rambling but Dan laughs when he's done so Phil doesn't feel bad about it. "It's alright. I've had loads of embarrassing things like that." 

He does end up telling Phil a couple of stories - all involving girlfriends in the past. When he's finished he shrugs and says, "Guess maybe I just wasn't meant to date. Girls, at least." 

He can't tell how Phil reacts to that because Phil lifts his coffee up and finishes it in one long gulp. 

-

The rain starts when they're on the bus back to the university. 

It's not just a little rain. It's an actual downpour. "Ugh," Phil groans. "I can't believe I have to walk all the way back to my house in this." 

"How far is it?" Dan asks. The bus is about to pull to a stop. 

"Fifteen minutes," Phil says. "At least." 

"My halls are only a couple minutes away," Dan says. "Come hang with me?" 

Phil looks over at him. He's leaning into Dan's space, because he's been looking out the window, too. His eyes are blue, almost gray in the lowlights of the bus. "Really?"

"Yeah, totally," Dan says. "We can play some Halo or something until the storm stops." 

"You're the best, Dan," Phil says. "My savior!" 

-

"Argh." Dan stands shivering just inside his room. It didn't even seem that cold until he was suddenly soaked from head to toe. "I think I actually drowned." 

Phil is shivering, too. "I would try to rescue you except I drowned myself." 

"We can be drowned ghosts that haunt campus together," Dan says. He finally manages to toe his soggy shoes off by the door, socks going with them, then walks over to his dresser. He pulls out pajamas for himself, then glances at Phil. "Okay, you get dry clothes too, sorry if that weirds you out, but I don't want you making my bed all wet and there's nowhere else to sit." 

"Please," Phil whines. "I am turning into a prune." 

"Do you mean a raisin?" Dan asks. 

"Aren't they both wrinkly?" 

"I - I guess," Dan says. "Fine. Live your prune dreams." 

"I'd rather live my dry dreams." 

Dan tosses clothes at him. "Then do that instead. You can change in here, I'm going to the toilet." 

He steps in and shuts the door behind him. The dry clothes do feel fantastic, but he's more concerned with his hair. He shoves his fingers through it but it's damp and curling and unless he wants to completely dry it then straighten it, there's really nothing he can do. 

Phil has finished changing by the time Dan comes back in. He's sitting on Dan's bed looking at his phone. "Oh, hi," he says, looking up and smiling at Dan. 

It only occurs to Dan at that exact moment that he's got a very cute guy that he likes very much in his room late on a Saturday night wearing his clothes. 

Suddenly Dan doesn't mind the storm all that much anymore. 

-

They play Silent Hill, the first one because Dan manages to dig up the disc from the box of games he'd brought with him to uni. They sit shoulder to shoulder and pass the control back and forth and it's probably the nicest night Dan's had yet in York, even nicer than the society stuff. 

He does notice when Phil starts yawning, though. He's just handed off the control to Dan and Dan takes over playing, but his mind is a million miles away. 

His main thought is that he's glad that the rain is still coming down hard outside because he really doesn't want Phil to go. He doesn't want Phil to ever go. He wants to lean in closer to Phil's space and rest his head on Phil's shoulder and cuddle into him... and yeah, that's taking up a lot of space in his mind right now. 

He looks over, wondering if he might actually be brave enough to do it. 

Maybe he would be... if Phil were awake. But Phil's head is tilted to the side and his lips are slightly parted, air blowing out between them. Dan stares at him for a few more moments than is probably acceptable for a non-creeper, then puts the controller down and reaches for the remote for the tv. 

"Hey," he whispers. 

Phil's head jerks. "Oh my gosh, I fell asleep." 

"It's alright," Dan says. "You should just stay." 

"What?" Phil sounds confused and sleepy and adorable. 

"It's still raining. Just stay the night," Dan says. "Sleep here." 

"Thanks," Phil says, and they both get under the duvet. Phil is asleep again almost right away, leaving Dan alone in the darkness with a hammering heart. 

He's had friends sleep over loads of time in the past. This doesn't have to be anything different. 

-

He does manage to eventually fall asleep, and apparently he sleeps pretty well. It's mid-morning when he wakes up and it's because Phil is moving in bed beside him. 

Fuck. 

Phil. 

Dan lifts his head and looks over. 

"Sorry," Phil whispers. He's typing something into his home. "My housemate was checking on me since I didn't come home last night." 

"Oh." Dan's throat feels scratchy like it always does first thing in the morning. His bed is really small for the two of them. He hadn't noticed that so much the night before. "Do you have to go?" 

"No," Phil says. "Not unless you want me to?" 

"No." Dan rolls over. Phil is very, very close to him. "I don't want you to." 

Phil smiles. It's a soft, pretty little smile. His lips look very soft. "I liked sleeping in your bed." 

Oh, Dan thinks. 

This is actually happening. Something, at least. Something is happening. 

"I liked you sleeping here," Dan says. 

"You know I fancy you, right?" Phil asks. 

"I didn't know," Dan says. "But I hoped." 

"I can't believe you didn't," Phil looks sheepish, scrunching his face up and burying it in the pillow. "I also can't believe I just said that to you." 

"I'm glad you did," Dan says. He reaches out under the duvet, because if Phil can be brave, he can, too. "I turned Kinz down because I knew I'd rather you ask me out than him." 

"I hoped for that," Phil says. "I hated it when I saw him talking to you, because I know what he's like when he sees someone he thinks is fit. I wish I had that kind of confidence." 

"You should," Dan says. "I think you're fit." 

"Dan." Phil's eyes look very, very blue this close up. "I'm going to kiss you now." 

-

They kiss until Dan's mouth turns numb. It's not like any kiss with a boy Dan's ever had before. It's not a sixth form hookup or a drunken game with other fifteen year olds. It's in his own bed and he's not drunk and Phil's not going to pretend this never happened come the next sunrise. 

Maybe he should still be afraid of that, but he's just not. He feels like he knows Phil. He feels like he can trust Phil. As much as his mind tries to convince him everything is shit, always, he does believe in this. 

Maybe that's why he doesn't shy away when he starts to get hard, or when he feels Phil hard against him. It doesn't feel like they're moving fast. It feels like maybe every time they've spent a few hours together it's been some sort of unacknowledged date. 

Dan can't wait to have the acknowledged kind. But he also can't wait for this, for kisses and touches and Phil's breath hot on his neck. 

"Yeah," Dan whines. "That's-" 

"Oh." Phil pops off briefly. "That's a thing?" 

"That's a thing," Dan confirms. 

Phil latches onto his neck again, kissing and nibbling and Dan is already squirming against his mattress. He feels Phil's hand on his stomach moving down, stopping just before he touches the waist of Dan's pajama pants. 

It's Dan who guides his hand down the rest of the way. He bites his bottom lip to stifle the noises he wants to make as Phil wrecks him with a mouth just above his collarbone and a hand in his pants. It doesn't take long at all until Dan is making a mess over Phil's fingers and he isn't embarrassed about that, either, because Phil is grinding into his hip and making the nicest noises and they're kissing when he comes trembling and panting against Dan's body. 

-

"Do you have anywhere to be today?" Dan asks. 

They've both taken a turn in the toilet, changing into officially what was the last of Dan's clean clothing. Phil offered to put his still slightly damp ones back on but Dan said no. He actually likes the look of Phil wearing his things. 

"No," Phil says. He's snuggled up to Dan with an arm around Dan's waist. Dan's not sure that there's been a single moment that they were in the same room and not touching since the first kiss. 

Dan likes it. He likes it a lot. It feels indulgent and like something he could get very addicted to. 

"Good," Dan says. "Stay with me, then." 

"Yeah." Phil kisses Dan on the cheek. 

He's just so fucking sweet. Dan isn't sure how he's supposed to endure this without actually imploding. 

"At least until I get hungry," Phil says. "I do turn into an actual Gremlin if you don't feed me every twelve hours." 

"I thought you couldn't feed the Mogwai or they turned into Gremlins?" Dan questions. 

"Yeah, it's the reverse for me," Phil says. "Feed me and I get cute again." 

"Dork." 

"Dork-lover." 

"Oh god." Dan groans. "That's lame." 

He grabs his pillow from under Phil's head and bops Phil on the face with it. Instead of Phil retaliating with the pillow, he wraps his arms around Dan and Dan flops onto his chest. 

He whines and immediately sets about verbally taking the piss for Phil's underhanded tactics, but there's no bite to it, because Dan knows with the way he feels right now he could spend the rest of forever - much less his time at university - with this man and be happy about it.

**Author's Note:**

> Part two will be posted tomorrow!
> 
> Sarah is an amazing beta reader and better than eating fresh popcorn at a movie night while sitting next to someone you have a new crush on.


End file.
